EP12 – Two ways to make more consistent income plus handling anxiety in a stressful time with guest Natalia Wiatr

Hello and welcome to self startups. Today, I’m going to be talking about two ways to generate more consistent revenue in your business. And after that, I’m going to be talking to my guest, Natalia Wiatr about anxiety in parenting in uncertain times like war for example, or pandemics.

But first here are two ways to generate more consistent revenue in your business.

Launching new products and services can be exhausting and stressful. The reason for the stress is that there is no guarantee that a future launch will be as successful as a previous launch. It’s true that launches can be successful and abundant, but you can also experience a feast or famine fluctuation in your income, lots of money one month, and then nothing until the next launch, which could be months away.

It’s a bonus if you can consistently generate money each month with another income stream. So how do you do this?

Two ways to make more consistent income

The first method I’m going to talk about is a membership which we touch on in the talk that follows. Having a membership or a payment plan means that people who are on tighter [00:02:00] incomes can benefit from your services and pay in installments. This makes the decision to sign up easier as they don’t need to find a big lump sum.

The second method I want to talk about is self-liquidating offers. These offers are self-liquidating because the price of the product or service covers the cost of the acquisition, the amount it has cost you to acquire the customer with, for example, paid advertising. The best self-liquidating offers are successful because the income exceeds what you need and there are a few ways to achieve this, for example, by having upsells or having order bumps during the checkout process. Self-liquidating offers are brilliant because they can be automated and run all the time, bringing in new business on an ongoing basis. Definitely worth looking into if you’ve never done something like this before .For help on how to build your business, join me in one of my programs and I’ll teach you what I know. [00:03:00]

Next I’m going to be talking to Natalia Wiatr. Natalia is a parenting coach who is based in Poland. She’s close to the border with Ukraine. And so that’s obviously on her mind a lot at the moment. She’s found some ways to support parents in need due to the conflict. She’s going to talk to us about how to cope with anxiety in a stressful time.

Annette Clubley: Hello, Hello, hello.

Natalia Wiatr: Hi

Annette Clubley: So today I’m going to be talking to Natalie, Natalia, sorry. People must do that to you all the time. Natalia. Now, how do you pronounce your surname?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah. Wiatr.

Annette Clubley: Okay. And you used to have an even worse name before you were married. Wolkiewicz? Something like [00:04:00] that.

Natalia Wiatr: Wolkiewicz, yeah.

Annette Clubley: You must have a real struggle with people trying to spell your name. If..

Natalia Wiatr: They’re very Polish, both are very Polish. So ..

Annette Clubley: Yes, yes. Yes. Well, I think lots of people, I think that’s quite common here in the UK. You know, people get quite used to it. But yeah. Yeah. As someone whose name is always misspelled by everybody, I feel your pain.

And so Natalia is a parenting coach and I really love her strapline or help statement is “I help parents to stop yelling by using the steps of emotional regulation”. And I really love that because, you know, I’ve been there, done that. And I think that’s a common, a common thing with parents. Isn’t it?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah, it is. We do that, we do that, like subconsciously and we, we, the moment we realize what we are doing, where okay, now, how do I stop that? Because this is stronger than my, my will power.

Annette Clubley: Yes. Yes. This is exactly, especially when you’re working with children that are still [00:05:00] young and don’t have that capability of regulating their emotions.

You know I always think that, you know, with two year olds and four year olds life is very simple. They are either tired, or they’re hungry, you know, pretty much or they fallen over and they hurt something like that. And it’s really nice and simple, but in, on the converse side, you can’t reason with them yet.

They’re not old enough for you to reason with them yet. And so sometimes there’s just lots of tears. Okay. And, but also we’re w I think we’ve more or less decided that we’re not going to talk about that today. And part of the reason for that is because you’re based in Poland. You are right on the doorstep of the current conflict that’s going on in the Ukraine at the moment.

And I think there is a lot of anxiety and fear around the world about what’s going on there. So I think that’s what we’re going to talk about. We’re going to touch on your work on anxiety and anxiety and and also overwhelm, I think I spotted in your posts that you ran, you know, ..

How to handle anxiety when a war is nearby

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah, I had a masterclass on mom [00:06:00] overwhelm, but it was actually that masterclass was before the war broke out. So I kind of. Kind of fit into the, into the, the, the events to be.

Annette Clubley: Okay. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. So you’re, you’re literally right there. How do you think parents in your region can respond to what’s going on?

Natalia Wiatr: Well, first of all, the problem that struck me myself, and also hit many other people, not only parents, but parents notably was the fact that we got dysregulated so hard and we got so anxious.

Even even like, you know, following with the simple everyday activities felt like questioning everything. Because we have that that we are, we are conscious about the fact [00:07:00] that we are going about with our lives, like standing in the kitchen, making yourself some tea, preparing breakfast and there are people being shot at like, right across the border. So the first days were extremely hard because I didn’t know how to handle that myself. I didn’t know how to get back into my own reality.

Can you still do business when a war is on?

So the thing I tried to like reframe some thoughts in my head I didn’t feel like even speaking about my business and my business is a hundred percent online and if I don’t speak about it in my social media, I don’t get clients. So if I want my business to, to, to, to, to to run, to, to prosper, I need to be out there and I need to post about what I do, things like that. And I didn’t feel it was even acceptable to [00:08:00] speak about my business when there are people right at the border, because I will do the same thing if war broke out here and I was actually worried, it might spread over Poland as well.

And there were some. Some, some predictions that it will, or it would, or it might .I know I will do the same thing. I would just grab my bags, grab my kids and move somewhere. I dunno where I don’t know where, and so I totally totally understand what people, what moms especially were thinking when they, when they did it out of, out of like fear wanted to protect their kids.

And then it all, you know, all those people stopped at the border and now our help here in Poland, the help that we are giving the Ukrani an people is mainly about helping them survive [00:09:00] around the border, like before crossing, after crossing, because those people don’t know where to go. They have nowhere to go most of them.

So we offer shelter, we gather food we gather clothes collect other things like. Hmm.

Annette Clubley: Things you don’t even think about that, not the kind of things that you would grab when you’re leaving. Also the kind of things that run out really quickly, you know, basics.

Natalia Wiatr: And these kids meds, like, things like that. And you know, I have, I have problems speaking about that because it makes me so emotional all the time.

How can you help others (refugees from Ukraine)

It’s been like two weeks now. And I have processed some of those emotional load, but it is, it is still very overwhelming. It is still very overwhelming. And all I can do is to donate. And offer help with offering what I have, like a free room in my house. So, so it’s just that. [00:10:00] So what I did in order to be able to like function in this reality.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: First of all, you need to accept the fact that you are of no help if you are dysregulated.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: So this is something I also realized about two years ago when I was going through a nervous breakdown and I saw how my emotions influenced my two-year-old son three years ago, sorry. Three years ago.

Annette Clubley: Okay.

Natalia Wiatr: And that was the point when I decided I have to take responsibility for my emotions. And that’s when I learned the process of emotional regulation. Cause before that I had been suppressing all of my difficult emotions, all of my anger, fear, anxiety, everything. But if you suppress emotions, they don’t go away.

They get stored and they get stored in your body, physically in your muscles, in all the parts of your body, where exactly it depends on the person on, on you how [00:11:00] you and your body respond. But the thing is when you regulate your emotions, when you allow them to be, you are able to let go. So just following the process of emotional regulation, allowing yourself to feel that anxiety, which isn’t easy, it’s so hard because that anxiety right now is so overwhelming and accept the fact.

Okay. I am feeling. What I am feeling and it’s perfectly okay to feel that way in this particular situation, everybody would feel this way. And everybody does actually.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: So this is the first step. Just regulate your own emotions. If you know that when you get regulated, when you get calm, when you calm your nervous system, you are able to act, you’re able to help people, [00:12:00] that gives you the permission to actually take care of yourself first.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: So do whatever you need to get yourself regulated. Go punch a boxing bag, go for a walk for a long walk with your kids. Have some fun play with your kids. Just minding the fact that you are doing that for them and for yourself to get regulated, to get distracted for some time so that you can get regulated and accept that anxiety and release that anxiety of this particular moment.

Go have a bath, do whatever you need to get regulated. Read a book. Don’t read social media.

Annette Clubley: No, no. Don’t check the news.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah. I used to, you know, I used to dance with my daughter on my hip, in the kitchen and she loves when I turn on the radio and we dance, but we stopped doing that. You know why? Because [00:13:00] every 15 minutes there is a special news issue, updating information about the situation.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: So I had to stop listening to the radio as well, but we do, we do sometimes dancing the kitchen. I just play music from YouTube and then I am in control of what is there and ..

Annette Clubley: Yes, what’s it bringing in. Yeah, yeah.

Natalia Wiatr: So first step is regulating yourself, allowing yourself to care for yourself first. Because otherwise you won’t be able to help.

Annette Clubley: No.

Taking action to help your anxiety

Natalia Wiatr: And when you are regulated, what you can do just list down, write down the things you can do to help. And there are many things we can do from any point, any place on earth, we can donate to organizations that help people in Ukraine. We can book an Airbnb in Ukraine and then the money goes directly to those people who need it, who offer shelter. And they’re [00:14:00] sheltering people right now for free.

Annette Clubley: Yes.

Natalia Wiatr: And that money helps them right now. Just to feed and, and kids. Yeah. And all those necessities. Here in Poland, we have more ways to help because we are closer. So we gathered, but I know that there are many places. Like I recently saw a post, someone from the UK said that they gathered a whole, like a van of goods and the van is going directly to Poland and then to the Ukrainian border to help people out.

Annette Clubley: Okay.

Natalia Wiatr: So people are doing that. All over all over Europe. And even if you’re not in Europe, if you’re further away, you can still do something simply because the internet allows us to right now and taking action is the point where you release that anxiety. Anxiety thrives when you are inactive, when you [00:15:00] feel helpless.

When you feel you cannot do anything, then the anxiety levels rise up. And when you do take action, when you move your body physically, and you do some things like putting things away, or just even tidying up your house or decluttering, things like that, you do take action. You do release that anxiety.

Annette Clubley: That’s interesting. Yeah.

Natalia Wiatr: And also you can, if, if you still feel and I remind myself about that every single day, there are things that are in our control and things that are not. So I cannot control political decisions.

Annette Clubley: No.

When things are out of your control

Natalia Wiatr: I cannot control the weather. I cannot control what my kids do. I cannot.

Annette Clubley: No. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah. It would be for many parents want that, but what I can control [00:16:00] is what I think, what I say and what I do, so I can only control myself, my words and my actions. So when the weather is bad, what can I do? I can prepare for the weather. I can help out people who are cold and, and waiting for, for some, you know, warm clothing.

I can, when my kids misbehave, what I can do, I can model the right behavior. I can create the connection between myself and my kids, because when kids feel better, they behave better. It’s not that when you yell at your child, they won’t fight. suddenly stop behaving bad Actually yelling at kids may make the, the behavior escalate in the longer run.

So just list down the things you cannot control, list down the things you can control and write down three things you can do right now. And then pick [00:17:00] one and do it.

Annette Clubley: Yes. Yes. And then you’ll feel better once you’ve accomplished something.

Natalia Wiatr: Yes. Yes. Because you are, you are actually helping out. And so many people I’m, everyone is surprised at the fact that so many people here in Poland, just stood up, spoke up and started acting, started doing something to help.

The economic effects of war

And also what I said at the very beginning that I didn’t feel it was right to speak about my business right now, because of the times, because of the events, I realized that there is bound to be an economic crisis after this war, or even it’s already started. The gas prices are going up. And some people who don’t even notice that there’s a war going on, they definitely notice the gas prices.

Annette Clubley: Yeah.

Natalia Wiatr: So the thing is if we stop doing [00:18:00] our business right now, the crisis will be even deeper. So if we want to make it less severe for everybody, we need to keep going. We need to keep working. We need to keep doing business. And I don’t actually, I don’t do business like I did before I created something, something, actually I’m, I’m reactivating my membership right now so that every mom that needs support can join and it it’s affordable for everyone because coaching prices sometimes make people think twice before committing and that membership is a place where everyone, everyone can do.

Annette Clubley: It’s acheivable. Yeah.

Natalia Wiatr: Everyone can join. And it’s still, it’s still very helpful because it creates a community of moms who are judgment free, and this is especially needed right now, when women need that [00:19:00] support.

Annette Clubley: Yes. Yes. We’re all trying to find that balance because they’re all in the same position as you. How do you balance the, you know, what’s going on with, I need to keep running my business because I need to pay the bills at the end of the day.

Natalia Wiatr: Exactly.

Annette Clubley: You know? So there’s a lot of anxiety around that if they’re in business for themselves or even if they’re employees and also there must be a certain amount of anxiety around, you know, how do I teach my children what’s the right thing to do right now?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: And also, how do I deal with parenting my children well at a time when I’m feeling quite anxious and fearful and because children pick that up, don’t they?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah, they do. They do, they are very imperfect. So the thing is just the same thing that I said before. Regulate yourself first, take care of yourself first. Don’t feel bad for taking care for yourself because you are doing [00:20:00] that for the sake of your kids.

Annette Clubley: Yes. Yes. And also, because that situation is out of your control, you can’t stop that from happening. It’s very, I’m listening to you. I’m feeling very much like I’m back two years ago when lockdown started.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: We felt like things were completely out of our control and there was nothing that we could do about it. And we had to all of a sudden get used to, you know, parenting our children and schooling our children from home while trying to hold down a job because some of us were working from home and homeschooling at the same time.

And so they would, and, and also this anxiety about, you know, what, if we get sick, what if, you know, what’s going to happen, then? You know, what if our children get sick? So there was a lot of anxiety and fear at that point as well, and a very similar situation, not something that you have any control over.

So your tips work in both [00:21:00] situations and even outside of a crisis, they work in normal everyday situations. Don’t they?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah, of course.

Annette Clubley: Yeah. Yeah. So your membership is for parents?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah. I started advertising it as for moms. And I haven’t had any inquiries for that from dads so far, but..

Annette Clubley: Okay.

Natalia Wiatr: If, if anyone requires my help.

I will help them. It’s not that I’m saying, okay, you’re a dad. You’re not a mom, so I’m not going to help you. I will help them. Well…

Annette Clubley: Of course, of course, of course. And actually I think it helps to have dads and have, you know, both sides working on the same, not so long ago, I spoke to somebody who was a parenting coach and she was all about aligning the partners and making sure the partners are singing from the same hymn sheet.

And I think that’s hugely important in terms of discipline and raising your children. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what’s the membership called?.

Natalia Wiatr: Station serenity.

Annette Clubley: [00:22:00] Okay. That sounds good. Yes. I like that idea. Serenity is what we need right now.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah, so we can stop and tap into that feeling of serenity, of feeling good with yourself of feeling calm, regulated, so you can come and then. And, and get that support that we all need right now.

Annette Clubley: That sounds perfect because as you, we touched on it, the fact that if you get anxious, your kids pick it up, things escalate.

And so conversely, if you become more serene, if that will have a knock-on effect with your kids, your kids will feel reassured and therefore their behaviors will improve.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: Pretty much. That’s how it works. Isn’t it. Okay. So tell us about how what’s the best way to reach you?

Natalia Wiatr: The best way to reach me is on Facebook.

I have a free group as well. It’s called parents time-out zone. So basically like a doorstep [00:23:00] to Station Serenity. And so we can just, you can just search for the name of the group or I will also give Annette the link to, to the group.

Annette Clubley: Yes. Well, I’ll add a link to the post and I love the idea of a parent’s time out zone because all of the mothers that I know are absolutely desperate for just five minutes a day to just, as you say, to top themselves up so that they continue to help everybody around them. And so, yeah. Yeah, the group could give them that opportunity to just stop thinking about everybody else and maybe start thinking about themselves for just a few minutes every day, which can only help basically.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: Okay. And you also mentioned that you’ve got a website?

Natalia Wiatr: Yes. It’s just like my name and surname.com. So it’s www.nataliawiatr.com.

Annette Clubley: Okay, great. That’s nice and easy. Yeah. Yeah. And I’ll add a link to that as well. But Facebook is your main is the main place to get in touch with you.

And then people can drop you a [00:24:00] message and ask you questions about the membership and well, I assume that they can find out more about the membership within the free group as well.

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: Yeah. Perfect. All right. Thank you very, very much for taking the time out to talk to me today.

Natalia Wiatr: Thank you for this opportunity.

Annette Clubley: We will we’ll keep in touch and, and you can tell us how things are going. And then also I would, and we’ve touched on this already. I’d quite like to have you back at some point to talk more about the emotional regulation side of things. When perhaps times are a little bit less stressful than they are right now.

Yeah, because I think that’s a topic that, you know. If you can get that right. If you can model that behavior, if you can teach your children how to handle emotions and start to take responsibility for themselves, then that sets them up for life. Doesn’t it?

Natalia Wiatr: Yeah.

Annette Clubley: Yeah, they will. They, they, that initial period of you know,, that stability, they will carry with them for the rest of their lives and it makes a huge difference for the [00:25:00] rest of their lives. So I think that would be really interesting to explore if you would be happy to come back at some point and talk to me about that.

Natalia Wiatr: No problem.

Annette Clubley: Thank you very much for taking the time to talk to me today.

Natalia Wiatr: And thank you for having me.

You can find Natalia Wiatr on Facebook, in her group Parent’s Time Out Zone or on her website https://www.nataliawiatr.com/