EP2 – Do I need a big audience before I can make sales? Plus parenting alignment with guest Johanne Bade

Today. I’m going to be talking about whether you need a big audience to start making sales. And then afterwards, I’ll be [00:01:00] speaking with a parenting coach on the importance of communication in a young family, both the communication between parent and child and parent and partner.

How to find more customers and increase sales

But firstly, let’s answer the question. Do I need a big audience before I can make sales? The short answer to the question is no. The longer term answer is yes.

Here’s why. To make those first sales. We often rely on the support and generosity of our friends and family. We only need a few sales and they’re happy to support us. The problem is you can only rely on your mom or your mate to buy your products and services for so long.

You can’t keep asking the same people to buy in order to keep your business afloat. You need to find a wider circle of people to whom you can make offers. And do you want those people to be interested in buying a product or service? Say you’re selling a fitness plan or a stress reduction class. You don’t want to be reaching out to just some random guy on the street who probably isn’t interested in what you’re selling.

[00:02:00] That’s when you need to build an audience. So in the longer term, you need an audience of people who are going to buy from you, but do you need a big audience? Not necessarily. Although marketing is a numbers game and there are certain standard conversion rates, which are often cited and which can frighten the life out of you when you’re first starting out.

For example, a 1% conversion rate means you need a hundred visitors to your website and to get those hundred visitors, you need a thousand impressions of your ad and so on, but there are also always outliers. There are people who have brilliant sales, even with very small audiences.

Like the yoga teacher.I know who made three sales off 10 webinar attendees from an email list of a couple of hundred. So she’s got 30% conversion rate from that webinar or the baby parenting coach who made 10 sales from her 20 ladies. She’s got a free audience group of 30 members, but you know, that’s a 30% conversion rate from the workshop [00:03:00] and a 5% conversion rate from her free ladies. These audiences were very engaged. They knew they wanted that person’s help and they were willing to pay for it. And that makes all the difference. So now let’s talk about later on in your business journey. Say you do have a well engaged audience who are willing to pay for your product or service.

You decide you want to scale up and build a much bigger business. Now, once again, you’re in a position where you can’t ask the same people to keep buying more and more and buy the same product more than once, depending on how many offerings you have. You do get true fans who will buy everything that you sell, but they likely will not make up the majority of your audience.

In this case, you do need a big audience to make the sales you want. You need to reach much larger numbers of people in order to fill all the spaces you want in your programs. So the more complex answer to the question of whether you need a big audience to make sales is it depends. It depends on how many sales you need, on how [00:04:00] much the people who follow you want your help, and whether they were prepared to pay for it and how many people are in your audience.

It also depends on where you are in your business journey. For more help on building an audience from scratch. Visit www dot annetteclubley com. Next I’m talking to successful parenting coach who specializes in communication with young families. Johanne Bade helps overwhelmed moms to regain, well moms and dads to regain calm, confidence and connection.

Johanne has been running Johanne Bade Coaching since early 2021. She’s currently traveling with her family in Mexico, but she normally lives in the Netherlands. It’s an exciting time in her business.

Partner alignment & communication in parenting

Annette Clubley: So, today I’m going [00:05:00] to be talking to your Johanne Bade. She’s a parenting coach and she runs a Facebook group called parenting made easier for bad-ass moms, which has got to be a topic that lots of us are going to be interested in hearing about. And we’re going to be talking today about partner alignment. Now I know I’ve got loads of questions about that, so I’m sure that lots of people would have questions about that. So can you tell us a bit more about it? What does it entail?

Johanne Bade: Partner alignment. So, so one of the reasons why I talk about partner alignment, this, this was not a topic I originally started out talking about but after running my course of an course called tools for talking, which was more about communicating with your kids and at the end of the course, everyone was like, these are amazing tools. This is so great. How do I get my partner on board? Right. So this was kind of, it ended up being a bonus for, I created this for the people who just did my last course, and it’s just, it’s been amazing because partner alignment.

What is partner alignment?

And let me give you a definition. So there’s tons of definitions of alignment, right. [00:06:00] But if you define it as like, Parts of something that are in position that are aligned with each other, right? Like relative to each other. If you think about like an engineering cogs in a machine, right. They don’t have to be the same.
They don’t have to be in perfect parallel, but they have to kind of fit together. And that’s how I look at alignment.

And it’s one of those fundamental things that if you’re parenting with a partner or even not parenting with a partner, right. Like you’re separated, but you still have to talk to that person who’s still, you know, the biological, other half of your children, you know, your children’s life. You need to be able to talk to each other and it’s a topic that’s going to come up and up again and again, and if you’re talking about coming back to my Facebook group, right? Like parenting made easier for bad-ass moms because in essence, it’s about our life as parents being already difficult enough, let’s make it easier.

And one of the ways, one of the easiest ways we can make it easier is by taking the time to align with our partners. And that alignment is oftentimes. A buildup [00:07:00] of things going wrong over the years. Right. So if you’re talking, there’s no one, cause people ask me like, what’s the one calls, like, why am I not getting along with my partner? There’s not any one.

Cause it comes from sometimes if you have different cultural backgrounds, but also just different ways of being like parented yourself because that’s all we do as parents is we apply. Okay. All I know when I have my child is how I was parented. This is how I’m going to do things, but it can also be expectations. Right expectations that are not being met of how your partner’s treating you or not treating you, but also expectations of yourself. Like I should be able to do this as a parent, or I should have been able to do this in my career. And so then we’re unsatisfied with where we are in our life. And all of that kind of builds up.

I like to use the metaphor of you know, the straw that broke the camel’s back this haystack of little tiny things that build up over the years and then the explosive conflicts that tend to happen when you’re like, oh, I can’t take this anymore things are just going wrong in my relationship had just been these [00:08:00] little things that have been building up.

And so you can’t say, oh, there’s one thing, one magical pill, like a wave of a magic wand that’s going to solve it all. So I’m really clear when we’re going into partner alignment. It’s a step forward. Right. We’re going to take a step and we start by, and this is my three pillars. And I work with this, like in any program or any coaching that I do awareness, tools, integration, right?

So first becoming aware of like, what is actually going on? Like when was the time I took them through this whole exercise of when did my partner actually do something nice for me? And how did that make me feel? And where do we have the most conflict and where do I want to actually go to with my partner ship?
Right? Like, and, and out of that, you can filter all these amazing things that can contribute over the longterm towards a more connected, cohesive relationships.

Like if you look at the things that have been done, nice that you wrote down, you know, what to ask more of from your partner. If you look at how it made you feel you can, you can [00:09:00] fish out your core values from that. If you look at where you, you want your relationship to go, you can make a concrete goal out of that. Right? So like simple exercise to create awareness just of like, Hey, where am I? And it’s can be very powerful. And I had, I had some couples in there, right?

Working together on parenting

Like, so I, I told all the ladies who took my course and there was a couple that took the course to bring their partners along and then really interesting to see that they both give their relationship a rating, right. On a scale of one to 10, how aligned are they? And to see, you know, are they close to each other in where they see the gaps are the conflicts from each perspective, the same.
And a lot of it is just learning how to, to take a step back and to listen to your partner, to tune in and to understand like, what is the underlying need? What does my partner need from me right now, instead of being so quick to especially if there’s a conflict that happens a lot. Right? So we, we tend to go into defense [00:10:00] mode.

So instead of filling in, in our mind already, or rebuttal to just kind of listen. And filter out, what do they need can make a, can make a really huge difference. And then I’ll take, you know, I’ll take people through different, very simple sentences. I’m like, I’m super practical in my approach because I have a theoretical education, which drove me nuts because I went to my supervisor and I was like, okay, I want to help people with my thesis and he was like, first graduate, then do useful things. So that was like the most annoying answer. Because theory, like there’s lots of stuff we learn in theory, right? Like if you’re talking about what you do with social media, but also in parenting, there’s so much out there, there’s so much theory, but where do you start?

You know, and to get that live, the live feedback. And I like to give people exercises, like when we’re in a session already so that they can have practice with things. And when we’re doing longer courses, they always get weekly assignments. Right. They got to go out, they got to practice, they got to come back. Because it’s only by practicing that you’re going to figure out what works and doesn’t work because I can give the same tools to everyone. And it’s really interesting that [00:11:00] I’ll always get completely different answers from different people, right? Like what worked the best.

Annette Clubley: As soon as you say to me that each partner has got to give their own score for, you know, where they are in relationship. I immediately thought sometimes you’ve must get completely disparate answers from that.

Johanne Bade: Yep, absolutely.

Annette Clubley: Yeah, absolutely completely different ideas of what’s wrong with the relationship. And as you say, some of the times that comes from the fact that they are. Immediately in that defensive mode, can’t be me. It’s nothing wrong with me. It must be something wrong with you. Or you are parenting in a different way than I am used to parenting or the way I was brought up. And that must trigger the conflict in the first place. So why is alignment with your partner important for parenting.

Why both parents need to communicate the same message to their children

Johanne Bade: Yeah, you could. I think you can better ask why is it not important?
I mean, if you’re, if you’re, if you’re not aligned, your kid is going to constantly get conflicting messages, not only conflicting messages into what’s allowed, what’s not [00:12:00] allowed, but simply by looking at the partnership, Right. Like we are the living example of the relationships that our kids are actually going to have further on down the road.

So if they see parents who say one thing and do another thing, or that are constantly like irritated and, and making snappy comments or putting each other down that directly has an impact on what our kids think is okay. In a relationship. And we may not think that it’s having that big of an effect, but they can read so much from our, just from our body language.

Right? So there’s a lot of parents that I’ll be talking to that they’re like, oh my, my child, I’ll never, we’ll never have a conflict directly in front of them, but they pick it up. They pick it up because there’s that tension, that energy. It’s the way of moving around each other. It’s the lack of physical contact, for example, between partners.
Like if they’re not touching each other, like kids pick that up so easily, so alignment with your partner is like I would actually say the order would be. [00:13:00] Work on yourself, work on your partnership, then work on the relationship with your kids because, because if we’re not working on ourselves and we’re also not to the point where we can take responsibility for our own role in how the partnership is not working.

Right. So that this is what I also say in decision. Cause some of the partners came, some of them didn’t come. Right. And that, you know, that like sometimes people will just not invite their partners. And that’s already saying in some ways, sadly I’ve given up that you’ll even show up.

Annette Clubley: Yeah.

Johanne Bade: So you’re not giving the other person a chance to show up either, right? Because there’s just been so many of those, those moments where you’ve had conflict or you’ve been disappointed that you’ve kind of like emotionally, already kind of checked out and that’s actually the most dangerous, but like that happens way before divorce has happened. Like if someone checks out like, you know, emotionally. It’s really hard to repair things there. Right? So it’s the, the, the, what do you call it? I’ve only got the Dutch word in my mind, but like the, the standpoint has [00:14:00] to be I’m open. If you come from a place of I’m, right. It’s never going to work. If it’s trying to put the other person down, it’s not going to work.

The main thing that’s important here is to come from a place of responsibility. Like I can show up for my kids relationship or sorry for my relationship.

Small naked child walking into my room, like in the middle of the day. Right. I’m recording the session.
Hey, {inaudible} bye.
This is my life, right. With three little, little creatures running around

Annette Clubley: the life of a parent.

Johanne Bade: I think I was talking about responsibility. Right?

Annette Clubley: Yup. You were, you were about taking responsibility for your own self before you can then start working on your partner relationship. And if you’ve already checked out of that equation, then you’re past that stage already. You’re not really giving them the chance.

Johanne Bade: Yeah, exactly. But also the responsibility, what I mean is with responsibility is also just to know when I come and I show [00:15:00] up to a session like this. I’m saying I’m invested, I’m saying I want to work on my relationship. And we cannot think that just by us going to the session that our partners behaviour is going to change, like we have this misconception that. When we change, oh, miraculously, the person on the other side is going to change as well. And that’s, that’s really not how it works. The only thing we can do is, is work on ourselves, our own approach and behavior and our own response to the situation. Right? So we may go out of these sessions and get the exact same response that we’ve always gotten, except because we’ve managed to shift something and take responsibility.

We’re able to handle that differently which then further down the road creates a different reaction from our partner, because they’re going to notice. Oh, I’m not being lashed out at like, actually I’m getting an empathetic response. Oh, maybe I then have the room to be more open and sharing as well. Right. So it’s a gradual process.

Annette Clubley: Okay. Okay. [00:16:00] And do you only work with people who are in a partnership?

Johanne Bade: Generally. Yes.

Annette Clubley: Okay. Cause you touched on the single parent earlier and I wondered whether that you could, you would still be able to work with them because they would still need to work on themselves and then their relationship with their children, even if they didn’t … potentially even a future partner

Johanne Bade: it’s motivated if someone is motivated and wants to work on that alignment by all means I work with them, right? Like in general, the people that I attract to me because of my own situation as well, and who I tend to work with are people who are in partnerships. But I have many friends and people around me and my own, my own parents. Right. They separated when I was 11 years old. Right. So I have had that experience, seeing parents who are not aligned at all. Right. And as a child growing up with seeing what that does I definitely have a lot of empathy and a lot of people who were close to me as well, who are in those separated situations and some of them, which is really interesting then to see how some people make that work.

Who really meant like separated and are [00:17:00] actually friends with their exes and some who just like have tried no matter what, but they’ve got someone who’s, you know very narcissistic or destructive and even physically abusive on the other side. Right. Or the ones, you know, were just, they tried, but they’ve given up and it’s just, it’s. That’s something that you can’t control, right? Like we make as much effort as we can. And it can be just very sad to see the effect that it has on kids to be a part of that process.

And I’ve also gotten beautiful messages from people whose, who have told me and shared with me, not as a result of my coaching, but who have shared with me how they have managed to get through this. As more like, you know, just people on social media will reach out to me and be like, oh, I really loved your messaging. And just so you know like, This is what I went through my narcissistic relationship, and I’m still working on it every day, but I’ve come so far and that they had their own piece in that. So I know it is possible. But generally speaking, I don’t, I work with people who have partners.

Annette Clubley: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And also you mentioned [00:18:00] earlier that sometimes when you’re in that separated or in that divorce situation, you sometimes still have to work with that person as a partnership, even if you are no longer together with them, because for the sake of the children, because you’ve still got to deal with them for the children. because that’s the unfortunate thing with separation and divorce is that you can’t just shut the door and say, I don’t want to have anything more to do with this person. You have to keep the contact going, because you want the children to have a relationship with both parents,

Johanne Bade: Very true I say that alignment especially with and also the communication tools, right? Like I bring it in the context of parenting or the relationship between partners and the relationship between you know, yourself and yourself or your partners, but it can be so much broader, right? Like communication tools that it’s just, but also the alignment tools that you teach that I teach are.

They can be related to a work situation or with colleagues or with bosses or you know, friends that you have a conflict in it. They’re more relationship tools on the broader sense of things. [00:19:00] So the examples and everything I bring in are definitely like partnership related and also like what’s underneath it and the impact that it can have, but you can translate that to a work environment, right?
Like if you’ve got a colleague, for example, who only talks at you and it’s only reactive. Right. And you have the same conflict with that colleague over and over and over again, your, your first response is also going to be defensive. And that also creates a rupture in a relationship. And it may be someone who you’re on the same team with who you have to work with. Right? Like it’s a similar, you can, you can make it, you can translate it across all situations.

Annette Clubley: Yeah, I’m sure you can. I’m sure you can, because communication is key to pretty much every relationship that you have including yourself. So, yeah. Yeah. I can imagine that that would, you know, you would be able to diversify that and then use those skills and take them out and use them to improve your life in all sorts of other areas.Once you’ve learned those skills. So tell me what makes, what makes a bad-ass mum, what’s the [00:20:00] difference? Why the title.

Johanne Bade: It’s feeling like a bad ass. It’s not a, it’s not an external milestone. It’s that experiencing that I am a mom who could do whatever the hell I want to. Right. Like the, whatever I set my mind to, I can go for it.
And, and really being that empowered, powerful woman. Not the same, because look, I’ve, I’ve taken my family on an adventure to the other side of the world. Right. And I think that’s pretty bad ass, but so a lot of people they’re like, no, I don’t need to travel or something, but it’s that, it’s that feeling that anywhere I want my life to go, I can make it happen. That’s what I see as, as bad ass

Annette Clubley: Yeah. I love that. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I write my own rules basically. Yeah. Yeah. Love that love that. Okay. So tell me something, how can people work with you? In what ways can people work with you? How can they find you?

Johanne Bade: Well well [00:21:00] those are the two questions right? How can people work with me and how can people find me?

You can find me on Instagram, I’m Johanne Bade Coaching, and the Facebook group you also mentioned is parenting made easier for badass moms. And of course, I’m on Facebook so. If you want to reach out and say, hi, I always love making new connections and new friends. And I post lots of interesting content and lives also just on my personal profile and how can people work with me?

Well, I’d love you to jump in the group cause there’s where I actually share a lot of content. I’m going to be giving a masterclass in in December. So it’s about fun and connection in your parenting. And then I have a new, very exciting program coming out. Actually it’s a three-month program and it’s called connect.

So those are the options. If you want to know more, reach out, I’m always happy to have a chat, right like no strings attached just to talk to people, see if I can help, if not, and that, you know this as well. Like I love this because we’re connected and we do totally different things. I have a really broad network.

So the thing that makes [00:22:00] me really happy is that if I can’t help someone, I can at least refer them in the right direction. So

Annette Clubley: Brilliant, brilliant. Yeah. That’s, that’s actually really nice to know because it means that people can feel safe about just, you know, reaching out and, and saying here’s where I’m at.
Is there something you can help me with or. not. Basically. And I mean, that’s the beauty of a Facebook group, isn’t it? Because people can spend time in a Facebook group and they can get to know you a little bit better and they can, and they can pick up on some of your training and then they can go, yeah, this is something I really need.
And then they can take that next step. So it’s a really nice way to get to know people. Over time and yeah. Yeah. As you say, I’m the sort of the same as you very broad sort of network working with all sorts of different kinds of people. And for me, that’s, I love that. I love that variety. I love, you know, getting to know different people and finding out what they do. So.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So thank you very much for joining me today. I’m really, really appreciate you taking the [00:23:00] time out. I know you’re super busy with lots of children popping through the door and saying, mom, mom,

Johanne Bade: Happy to happy to jump on Annette. Yeah, that’s part of, you know, I was joking on my session. I was like, I think I got interrupted four times and there was like drilling in the wall. I was like, you know, this is the hashtag of my life. I hashtag mom life. Like this is just, this is just part of it. You know, anyone who I work with totally understands that it is in that world.
So it’s, you know, that’s part of life and anyone who presents it differently. I kind of, I already get that like sense of, of non-trust just because I’m like, you’re not telling me the whole story because I know, I know these things. I know.

Annette Clubley: Yes, yes. Nobody’s perfect, no family life is perfect. Yeah, exactly. I think anybody who’s been a parent or is a parent knows exactly where you are and that, you know what I mean? That’s very reassuring. It’s like, know, it’s just like, yah, she is just like me, I have the same problems. Can’t go anywhere alone. Yeah. [00:24:00] So thank you very much for joining me today. i really appreciate it. Okay. Bye-bye.

You made it to the end of the episode. Thanks for listening to self startups today. Don’t forget. You can find more episodes at my website, [00:21:00] www.annetteclubley.com. And you can find information about my free trainings. And my programs at forward slash learn. Look forward to seeing you there.

Find Johanne Bade Coaching on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/johannebadecoaching/