EP8 – Making time for marketing plus self care tips from guest Rachel Ehring

Hello and welcome to self startups. Today. I’m going to be talking to a busy mom about how to find the time for self care. The same problem shows up when you’re trying to start a business from scratch as a parent, and you need to find the time for marketing, but basically every one of us needs to find the time for marketing.

When you’re just starting out, you don’t always have the resources to outsource to, so you have to do it yourself. So where do you find the time? When you work in a professional career, time for work is built into your week because you have an office to travel to. And typically you have set hours of work, even if you’re working from home.

When you work for yourself, you have to have the discipline to carve out the time you need to build your business. This can be really difficult, particularly when family or life partners do not see your business as “real work”. I find that it is much easier for people to interrupt me, not naming names here, of course, when I’m working for myself in a way that would never happen in a corporate job. They would never ring me up in the office. As my work is flexible, I can be asked to do favors or I can [00:02:00] be asked to meet up during the working week. In order to do that, I have to swap out time somewhere else. In other words, I have to work overtime.

But my friends and family are not the only culprit. I can be my own worst enemy, especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed or if imposter syndrome or my perfectionist tendencies share their faces. Then I am my own block and I procrastinate like crazy. I’ve learned ways, thanks to some amazing people I know, to make my way through these blocks so I can move forward.

We all need these cheerleaders in our businesses. People who support us and help us to keep going when you need help or just need a sounding board. But also some of it is your self.

I find it really useful to take time, to remember why you are doing what you do. This provides you with the motivation to do the work you need to do. Stick it on a sticky note and put it somewhere that you can see it, often.

Batching marketing content

Another tip I like is to plan [00:03:00] out your marketing and batch production, wherever possible, rather than doing your marketing on an ad hoc basis, which depends on how you’re feeling right now.

I love having a plan and I’ve found the most useful courses I’ve ever done are those that included a plan or a blueprint that shows me the way forward.

Well, I have a plan! It’s outlined in my program, audience building from scratch, check it out if you need a plan for your marketing.

 Next, I’m going to be talking to Rachel Ehring. We’re going to be talking about the connection between self care and music. Rachel is based in Irvine, California. She was a professional musician and she’s now a parent she’s had to deal with the emotional transition from professional to full-time mum.

She has three tips for caregivers on how you can carve out the time for self-care. It’s worth a listen.[00:04:00]

Right. So hello. Rachel. So today I’m going to be talking to Rachel Ehring and she is a musician, which I find really fascinating, cause I’ve never had anything really to do with music at all. And we’re going to be talking today about how to get started on self care by using music. So again, that’s something else that’s completely new to me. So I’m really looking forward to finding out what you’ve got to say.

Rachel Ehring: Thank you so much. It’s such an honor to be here and to talk with you today about something that I’ve grown really passionate about about self care in general and how to get started with a self-care routine. Especially if this is something completely new to you.

And I’ll talk a little also about how you can use music as part of a self-care routine. So I’m going to give you three steps for getting started with self care. And then I have sort of a fourth bonus step, I guess, for you.

So the first step I want to talk about is to let go of the guilt. [00:05:00] And I’ll be honest with you. I’ll share a little bit of my story with you. I’m a mom to a four and a half year old. He’s amazing. And I love him to death, but he changed my life as if you’re a mom. You understand?

Giving yourself permission

But I’ll be honest, like a year ago I was not taking care of myself. I believed in the depths of my soul and I won’t get into all of my history and all of that, but I believed that everyone else’s needs were more important than mine. And honestly, I got to the point where I was burnt out. I was exhausted and I didn’t, really I didn’t give myself permission to take care of myself. And that was when someone came alongside of me and gave me that permission. And said. Not just gave me the permission, but told me that it was essential that I take care of myself in order to be a better caregiver to those around me. And so I want to [00:06:00] give you that permission today and tell you that you will be a better caregiver to your kids.

You’ll be a better partner. You’ll be a better friend. If you can figure out how to take care of yourself. And I know it’s not easy because I’m on the journey with you. And there’s days that go by where, you know, I feel anxiety or anger, frustration, whatever. And I don’t stop and think about what I need and I don’t do it, but I want to give you a few tips today that I hope will help you on the journey.

So Step one, let go of the guilt and give yourself permission to do it. And then step number two is figure out how to find the time and make a plan for your self care. And I can hear some of you already saying. I don’t have the time. I don’t have time to take care of myself. I have, you know, X number of kids running around and all these mouths to feed.

How do I do this? [00:07:00] And believe me, I completely understand. I feel the same way. And I only have one kid. I don’t know how you moms with four or five do it because one is keeping me up and…

Annette Clubley: They say it gets easier, but I don’t want to experiment to be honest (laughs). Immediately you said find the time I was just thinking, oh, well, that’s a laugh.

How to start with self care

Rachel Ehring: So here’s a few little ideas for you. First of all, I would say, just start small. Like if you can find 10 minutes a day, You might say, I don’t have 10 minutes a day and I’m going to give you some ideas of where you might find it. But even 10 minutes a day, I think can make a big difference, especially if you’re intentional about what you’re doing with those 10 minutes and not just, I’m going to watch the real Housewives or whatever.

I mean, that might be your self-care is watching the real Housewives, but I think we can be a little more intentional about it. So a few [00:08:00] tips for finding that 10 minutes. Think about your day and think about if there’s anything in your day that maybe you could automate or do ahead of time. For one example that I like to thinking about is how much time, if you don’t use any kind of meal plan or menu or anything, how much time do you think of or do you spend thinking about, what am I going to make for dinner? What recipe am I going to use? Do I have the ingredients? Oh, I need to run to the store. What if you, at the beginning of the week set all that up, made the menu, just sketched out what you’re going to do for the week made your shopping list and it was done. There are days when I find myself thinking about what we’re going to have for dinner, probably like 18 times during the day. And then I finally make a plan and then I forget what I planned and then I have to think of not at all again, you know, so what is something simple like that you set it up ahead of time, so you didn’t have to think about it.

Another idea. What if [00:09:00] you, if you have a supportive partner, if you could ask them for something really specific, like they could do. Which school drop-off in the morning. So you would have a little time or they could watch the kids for 20 minutes after dinner, or I think you have to. Let them know how important this is, first of all.

And then if you can get, make a specific plan, not just say, oh, I want to do some self care. Can you help out? But say like, I wanted to do a meditation for 15 minutes after dinner and I think hopefully they would be on board with that. If you come to them with something specific like that, every time.

Annette Clubley: Something like that, you know, can you take story time? Which will buy me 10 minutes. Yeah.

Rachel Ehring: Yes. Yeah. It’s but yeah, if you gave them an activity that they could do, could you play Play-Doh with the kids for this amount of time, then it makes it so easy for them to say yes. [00:10:00]

Annette Clubley: Hmm.

Rachel Ehring: And then you might be able to define 10 minutes of time that you already have maybe after your kids go to bed or something.

I’ll give you a little example. It’s not related to self-care directly, but when I decided to start my own business, I was working full time and thought, there’s no way I have time to do this. I have a toddler at home I’m working, but it was something that I was passionate about and wanted to do.

And so I looked at my day and I thought, well, I could probably do 30 minutes after my son goes to bed. And so I committed to that and I thought, you know, 30 minutes isn’t much. But if I did that every day for a month, that’s 15 hours. And that sounds significant. Like I could get a lot done in 15 hours.

And so that’s what I did. I committed to that 30 minutes and, you know, there were some nights when I would, the 30 minutes would come and go and I’d keep working for another hour because I was enjoying it. And having fun with it. So there might be some time in your day that you don’t realize that you could take [00:11:00] a little time and do something intentional.

Annette Clubley: Yeah. It depends on whether you are an early morning riser or a night owl. Doesn’t it? Which side of the day you’re going to try and do that, or mind you. I know a lot of children that are up at 5:00 AM, so that might not work.

Rachel Ehring: Right. Yeah, I’m at more of a night person. I get up with the toddler alarm. I don’t know. I can’t get up before him. I just can’t make it happen. So you’re right. Some people could probably get up 15 minutes earlier.

And then my last tip for finding the time is come up with a 10 or 15 minute activity that your kids can do on their own, depending on how old they are, of course you have to do an age appropriate, but maybe they can play some Play-Doh on their own or color or look at some books.

Or worst comes to worst. They can watch 10 minutes of screen time. It’s not the end of the world. If you need that [00:12:00] time, if they watched 10 minutes of Daniel tiger, they’re going to be fine. Like give yourself the permission and just it’s okay. I’m giving you the permission right now for 10 extra minutes of screen time.

Ideas for including music in your self care

So after you come up with your plan to make the time, then comes the fun part, where you get to choose your self care activities. And this is where music can come into it. It doesn’t have to, your self-care doesn’t have to include music. It is just, I love music and another kind of personal story.

I lost my job at near the beginning of COVID and my job was playing the piano. I played the piano for hours every day. And so after I lost my job, I wasn’t really playing that much. Cause I was busy doing the mom stuff and all of that. And after a few months I realized I really missed it. Like it was almost like there was this kind of void in my life and I realized that i didn’t really have music in my life and I’ve been [00:13:00] so used to having it, that it was just so natural part of my life. And so being more intentional of including that in my daily life now, I, you know, when my son’s at preschool, sit down and play a little bit, or just turn on the radio in the car or whatever.

So, but back to choosing your self care activities here I’m going to give you some of my favorites. And you can take these or you can find your own. I think the, probably the most life changing activity that I’ve done over the past year is I’ve started doing meditation and I had never done meditation before.

I really didn’t even know how or what it was or anything. But it’s been so calming and peaceful for me. So if you’ve never done it, I encourage you to try it out. You can go on YouTube and find free meditations. It will tell you exactly what to do. I really like the boho beautiful channel. They have really [00:14:00] nice ones that are short and uplifting.

So that’s one and usually there’s music involved in the meditations. I’ve created a couple on my YouTube channel and I’m hoping to put a few more on there soon. I’m kind of in process with that. Another thing you can do is create your own music and you might be saying, well, I don’t play an instrument.

I have a terrible voice, but I really believe that pretty much everyone can create music somehow. So you can get like an oatmeal can and use it as a drum and put on your favorite, like upbeat music and just drum to your heart’s content. Maybe you have an instrument that you played years ago that you could pull out and just fiddle around on.

Or just even singing, like singing along with songs can be I don’t know, there’s something freeing, at least for me about just playing and participating in music and not just listening. You can also listen to your favorite music and move your body. I think we all know that [00:15:00] movement is a great self care activity.

So whether it’s exercising or stretching or yoga, whatever it is Movement and music go great together and it will really enhance, I think. Enhance your, your mindset. I don’t know. Somehow it, it always gives me clarity of mind. I think when I am moving my body consistently.

Annette Clubley: Hmm Hmm. It’s interesting, isn’t it? Because all three are things that you do as a child and then you grow out of as an adult. And as you say, you kind of, don’t give yourself permission to do those things anymore. And when you’ve got a small child around, you realize that you used to really love doing those things. And because there’s a small child around, you’ve got an excuse. Don’t you?.

Rachel Ehring: Yeah. I know. Like even playing, I think can be self care, you know, just playing with your child and not like allow yourself permission, not to think about the to-do list and the dishes and [00:16:00] everything, and just enjoy playing with them. And actually my last self-care activity that I’m gonna talk about is related to that.

So thank you for that little transition. My last one is doing something creative and you can put on some music in the background, like some soft instrumental music and find a creative activity that you love. It might be journaling, it might be crafting, maybe writing gratitudes. Gratitude is such a helpful activity, I think a gratitude journal, or just writing out what you’re thankful for. And all of that can be done to your favorite music or just some nice soothing music. So find what speaks to you. You can try them all out, try a bunch of things and see what, what makes you feel calm and what helps with your anxiety?

I mean, I really believe that self care can help with anxious thoughts and can help with sleep and all sorts of health benefits, [00:17:00] really where you’re doing it for yourself. You don’t have to go to a doctor or take medicine or anything you’re doing that care for yourself. So those are my three steps, and then I told you I would have kind of a fourth bonus one.

So I believe that it’s really important to model self-care for your kids. And so I call this kind of family self-care. Things that you can do as a family that are modeling to them, the importance of taking care of yourself and them taking care of themselves. So a few of those that, that I like are going for nature walks, getting out in nature is so good for our souls and that can involve moving together, exercising together, stretching together, whatever it is. Another one is put on music and play Play-Doh together. So one of the things that I like to do is I have like some grownup Play-Doh it’s lavender scented Play-Doh and it’s so relaxing and soothing.

And so I’ll play with my grownup [00:18:00] Play-Doh and my son will play with his Play-Doh and we can have some nice music on in the background. And it’s just a nicely bonding, relaxing activity for us to do together.

Annette Clubley: Your social media username is starting to make sense.

Rachel Ehring: Oh yeah. Yeah. I was talking about gratitude and this is also something that you can do with your kids.

I think encouraging them to think about gratitude. My son, especially with we’re recording this right before Christmas. So Christmas coming up, he’s all about, I want this toy. I want that toy, blah, blah, blah. And I think if we can encourage them to think about what they’re grateful for, whether it’s writing it down on a whiteboard or something, or talking about your favourite parts of the day and then turning that into a gratitude. I think it’s so essential to model that for our kids, that gratitude mindset [00:19:00] and just letting them see you take care of yourself, you know, letting them see that you’re doing a meditation or see that you’re going to go out for some exercise or whatever will it’s.

So. So good for them to see, see us taking care of ourselves and not always putting everyone’s needs before our own like some of us are up to, myself included. So that’s kind of what I have for you today. Just a few short little tips for getting started with self care and how you might incorporate music into it.

Annette Clubley: Mm. Hmm. Yeah. I love those. I love those because they’re small. And as you say, you could get them into a, you know, in 10 minutes of a day. And they would be easy for just about anybody to do, and I think you’ve touched on it, the most important thing is that then the models for your child, that it’s okay to do this so that they continue to do this as they grow up and they [00:20:00] don’t lose it.

And you know, that’s got to be worth its weight in gold. You can’t, you can’t look after your family unless you’ve looked off yourself first. It isn’t and we have to fight this. you know, the guilt about, oh, no, I can’t put myself first all the time, which you touched on at the beginning.

So how do you work with people at the moment? Do you work with people one-to-one or do you work in a group or how do you work with people at the moment?

Rachel Ehring: So at the minute, I’m really just getting started with this because I’ve been a musician my whole career. So this is kind of a transition period for me. So honestly right now, because of COVID I’m not working with people, but I am I’m pretty active on Instagram.

And so I’m making a lot of connections there and you know, DMing with people about different ideas and I’m currently as, you know, building a course. And so I’m hoping through the course, I’ll be able to connect more with people and I’m hoping to [00:21:00] start a little, maybe a Facebook community or something along with the course to mentor and, and help people more along the journey. So, right now a lot of it is just Instagram and email and things like that.

Annette Clubley: Okay. Okay. Do you think, because the goal that sort of transition from being a musician, a full-time musician and into being a full-time mum must be, it must have similarities to people who have gone from the corporate. you know commuting corporate long hours sort of really disciplined, devoted to that, to the I’m a mom now. You know, there must be a correlation. There must be not correlation, but it’s similarity there between the two. And I think that is possibly where the feeling that. you know, you, you, you don’t need self care because you’re just a mom. You know, [00:22:00] it’s not the same as going out and doing a long commute and being at work all day.

And you know, and I think people suffer from the same thing with working from home. I think working from home doesn’t feel like you’re committed as much as you are when you’re out, but actually you can work longer hours and work longer and work harder from home.

Rachel Ehring: Then you can’t get away from it.

Annette Clubley: Yes, then it’s even more difficult to balance life and home and home and family and work than it is when you walk out the door every day. So I think that’s changed quite a lot. I think, you know, I mean, I feel like it w- there’s definitely potential for you to work with people even online to start developing that love of music and that taking time out for music. I think you could easily do that online ..

Rachel Ehring: Yeah, yeah.

Annette Clubley: As much as you could in person or have the balance.

Rachel Ehring: [inaudible] [00:23:00]

Annette Clubley: Yeah. Yeah.

Rachel Ehring: I have to kind of find the right avenues and I’m working on creating some other resources too for YouTube channel and stuff like that, to give people self care resources that include music, because that’s what I love what I do. So, …

Annette Clubley: Yeah, yeah, yeah and you’ve touched on the meditations earlier. So how can we find you?

Rachel Ehring: I mentioned Instagram. That’s a great place to start. It’s @dreamlavendermusic on Instagram. You’re welcome to email me rachel (at) dreamlavendermusic.com. And then I do have a few resources already created. I have a free PDF. That is How to start your self care if you’ve never done it before. And some of it is stuff that I talked about today, but it goes a little more in depth too. So you can find that at www.dreamlavender.podia.com, podia is P O D I A. And so you can find that resource and some other resources there. [00:24:00]

Annette Clubley: Yeah, sure. And I will add links to these with the posts so that people will be able to just click through and find you that way. Okay. So, and, and yeah. Yeah. As you just mentioned, probably Instagram at the moment is the best place to reach you and start a conversation with you initially. Yeah. Yeah. And then potentially go and find the resources like the PDF.

Rachel Ehring: it’s on Instagram.

Annette Clubley: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to talk to me today, it’s been really interesting. Lovely to meet you because yeah, yeah, we were working on the same course together, but we’ve not actually met before today. So thank you very much for taking the time to talk to me.

Rachel Ehring: Well, thank you so much for having me. It’s such a pleasure to meet you over the computer here, and I’m so honored that you invited me to speak today.

Find Rachel on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dreamlavendermusic/ and on podia https://dreamlavender.podia.com/